I Hate Vulnerability

I am very kind. I was born kind and it comes from my heart. I didn't grow up with a typical loving background or typical things you see in families, but I always was a kind person. I do not like being vulnerable and I'm very disciplined and great at helping myself. This year I decided to be vulnerable and get help for everything I've been experiencing. Everywhere I turned to get help, people deceived me. I have a very good judge of character but when you mix being tired and hopeless, you become a bit blurred in you're thinking. I am not taking the blame for the way people treated me by saying that, I am going to hold them accountable. I have been insulted by people who are less than me just because I was seeking help and showed weakness. I will never be vulnerable again. I mean it. Something in my heart was modified and now I feel very different toward a lot of people. I have learned to control my giving nature and do not feel I need to be kind to people anymore. My heart hardened; I am shocked. I always wondered how this happened to people. Now I am experiencing it first-hand. Being vulnerable gets you nowhere, people are waiting to take advantage of you. They can’t help it, it's their nature. Just like how it is my nature to be kind. Most people don't even know what kindness is, they only respect things they fear. So, I am going to be feared and it has been working for me so far. I am secretly kind, to those who deserve it.

Anonymous