Why Did Mr.Big Turn Red??
“Hello beautiful, let’s grab some coffee!” was the first message I received from him on the dating app. I remember thinking what a confident man he was. Most men who thought I was cute would usually be too shy to approach me. Big, that was his name on the app. He wasn’t my type; however, I admired his confidence and wanted to know what it would be like to date someone I didn’t have De ja vu towards. “When?” I asked. And he replied, “On Thursday.” I thought, in two days? So bold and so quick, how I like it. Instead of texting back and forth endlessly, let’s meet in person.
We had been texting all day on Wednesday, and I realized I needed to help my friend with content creation the next day. So, I messaged him to ask if we could move it to Friday. I was impressed by how he agreed without being weird about it. I wondered if he wanted to get to know me or just vibe and have sex. I concluded that he wanted to get to know me, so I was open to being friends if I didn’t get a spark after the first date.
Friday came; I got my hair done and put on some makeup. I am not one to have makeup on if it’s not an important event, but I just wanted to start putting in more effort. Our date was at 6:00 pm. I got to the coffee store at 5:45 pm and then went to pee. When I finished peeing, I realized it was 5 minutes to 6:00 pm, so I left the bathroom running to ensure I didn’t keep my date waiting, but to my surprise, Big hadn’t arrived.
It was 6:05 pm, and he still wasn’t there, so I texted him. He said he was parking. I felt disrespected- why wasn’t it communicated that he was running late? It was now 6:28 pm; he arrived 28 minutes late. I had planned for an hour and told him we had 30 minutes left for the date.
He ordered an espresso while I ordered a Frappuccino, then we sat down and began to talk. Our conversation was good despite what happened, but I still felt no attraction for him. Nonetheless, I was very excited about becoming friends with him. When 7:00 pm came and I was ready to leave, I told him the time was up, but we could talk for 10 more minutes. He stared at me in disbelief. I quickly added, “I planned to meet with a friend.”
“Go meet your friend,” he yelled back to me with so much pain and anger in his eyes. He walked away, leaving me shocked and speechless. I remained seated for about 2 minutes, then I tried to call him to ensure he was okay because I was confused, but he refused to pick up my call.
I had never felt so bad. I wondered if I had caused Big so much pain and become someone I had vowed not to be. He must have misunderstood me. I immediately texted my friend about what happened for support. I added that I am a heartbreaker and inserted a crying emoji to show exactly how I felt. After speaking with my friend, I still could not decide if I should have given the date one more hour. Would it have made him feel better if I did? I also couldn’t determine whether he deserved a second more of my time because he had been a gentleman until then before completely transforming.
That evening I spent hours confused about what had happened. Finally, I got some respite by watching Rihanna’s Super Bowl performance. Watching her perform, I thought I deserved to feel gorgeous and unapologetic and encourage other girls/women to feel the same. I eventually got the inspiration I lacked for my new clothing collection. I had been looking for inspiration all this time. I would create a collection of all-red pieces called ‘RED.’ The next evening as I draped the first piece on myself from the clothing collection, I felt exquisite. I had never felt more confident about a decision. I blocked his number and knew I had done nothing wrong to deserve such a reaction, especially from someone who was rude and utterly disregarded how I forgave him without a fuss.
Each time I try to remember his name, ‘Red’ has been what comes to my mind apart from today, of course. He was the kick I needed to focus on myself!
Oluwatobi