I Hate Maladaptive Daydreaming

For me to survive my childhood I daydreamed a lot and pleaded with God to take the pain I felt away. Nothing ever came for me. Not God or a person. So now I hate maladaptive daydreaming, it disgusts me now and is a waste of time. It only works if you are a child, or you completely want to avoid reality.  I do not. I prefer the truth about my situations. That’s why I have always been able to save myself to the best of my ability. The sooner you remove yourself from falsehoods and look for solutions, the sooner you will have an answer. Whether yes or no, I have always needed an answer. I do not like praying either, because when I would pray in life-threatening situations my prayers were never answered. I am not lucky that way. I just want straightforward answers and a simple life. I have lost interest in a lot of things. Even things like learning about aliens, which I used to love. Learning about stuff like that doesn’t help me solve any of the problems I am facing now. So it is a waste of my energy, that’s how tired I am of surviving and not living.

You do this, and you can get these results is all I am interested in. I waited and hoped for so many things in my life and not without action. I almost feel like if I didn’t hope I wouldn’t be heartbroken. I would have known not to trust something I couldn’t see or have faith in dreams. I feel 100X safer believing in what I can do for myself. I have been let down too many times by the universe. If I can't obtain something or heal myself then it is not meant to be.

Anonymous