Absorbing Their Personality

I noticed something scary that is reoccurring after all my relationships. I noticed I end up taking characteristics of whatever partner I have left behind. Not only characteristics but even illnesses. These characteristics are not good ones, they are always the behaviors I detested about that person. So, imagine how I felt months later and even years later, realizing I behave just like them. I never had these characteristics before these guys but here I am trying to shake them off. I never spat a lot or even at all. I dated a guy that spat profusely, even indoors. It was absolutely ridiculous and happened at the most random times. And I would think to myself, why doesn't he just excuse himself and do it in the bathroom? How was he raised? Who told him it was ok? He couldn’t possibly think it was ok to just spit on the floor, indoors! A few months ago, I found myself spitting uncontrollably, it came to a point where I started spitting in a cup to control it. I needed a cup on standby because I was spitting so much.

The more alarming revelation came from a guy I dated that was ill. I'm not going to mention the illness but it was severe for him at the time. I overlooked it because it didn't affect him as time passed and he looked healthy. Years later I developed the same illness. It was just as intense as his, like he had transferred it to me. I took on the sickness and he took my health. I couldn't figure out why this was happening. It really shook me up and I started to understand why they say spiritual connections are real. I feel like they drained all the good in me and left bad habits, illnesses, and memories. I've been praying to God really hard and going to therapy, I finally started feeling the habits and illnesses leave me. I am becoming more myself every day. I am so thankful that it's even possible to revert to the old me. I honestly didn't know what to do, God really took control.

Anonymous